My name is Jeremy and I’m married with children. I have a 6 year old and a freshly minted 7 month old, both girls. My wife makes it 3 girls and along with our 2 female dogs, I’m decidedly out numbered.
I recently turned 40 and my wife thinks that I may be having a midlife crisis already. I say “already” because according to the Wikipedia entry, I’m a little early. The entry says that the crisis lasts 3-10 years for men. I, however, hope that she’s wrong. I intend for this “crisis” to last a lot longer because I’m finally becoming the person that I want to be.
Just a few months ago, you would have said I was like any other person out there…
I had a mortgage and car payments, as well as loans and credit card debt. I ate a lot of “easy” food, which may not be considered healthy. I didn’t have a ton of time to work out or really the desire. I would toss and turn all night and was usually too tired to take requests from my kids for playtime… “how about Daddy lays on the floor and you play by yourself?” I wished that I looked better in my clothes.
My wife injured her neck which left her unable to work. We exhausted all options to heal her including surgery – the total process taking several years with no mitigation of her pain. The reduction in income, the physical/emotional toll and a boatload of stress were the only things we had to show for it. Since we were already knee deep in a house remodel when she was injured, we had to finish.
It took 5 years of my life, working nights and weekends with my father, to complete the majority of the project. I was always working and barely saw my family even though we were in the same house.
By the time the dust cleared, there was too much resentment, regrets and negativity to continue on that path. Things had to change.
The change began late last fall, but really started in earnest when I started working out this past January. I finally looked in the mirror and realized that everything that was a negative in my life had one thing in common: ME. This meant that I had the power to turn things around if I really wanted. I decided that the first thing to do was to list those personal changes that I could start doing immediately:
- I was going to spend my time on the things that were important while not sweating the things that were not. My wife and kids trump anything else, period.
- I was going to focus more, i.e, work hard, but be smart about it.
- I was NOT going to care what other people thought about me. Instead of just saying it, I was going to mean it.
- I was going to stop feeding my body junk food and start exercising every day. I was going to feel better, sleep better and perform better.
- I was going to stop criticizing and start trusting and supporting my wife, kids, friends, family, coworkers and myself.
- I was going to stop struggling through life and start enjoying the journey.
I started this site and it’s corresponding social sites to serve as my accountability, workout log, diary and source of inspiration. It is my hope that others can be helped or inspired by these sites to affect a change in their own lives.